?

Log in

Dave's Random Thoughts
A "first draft" for the book of everything
Health Update - Metrics 
10th-Nov-2012 11:18 am
allgods
I was told last night that "this would make a great Facebook update". I scoffed. I didn't see myself sharing this info at all.

You'd think I'd know myself better.

The truth is, I don't really want to share this info there. It's a much better match to be shared here. So, in the interest of ridiculous levels of narcissistic self-disclosure, let's continue.

Metrics. Numbers. In this case, sizes.

I was going to put off buying clothes until mid-December. My budget liked that plan. The thing is, I was wearing underwear that (I thought) were about 10 numbers too big, and t-shirts that were oh-my-God-too-many numbers too big. It was like clown clothes. It was distracting.

Example: When your underwear are that over-sized, this happens... I would regularly be standing still, aware that no clothing was touching my, ahem, skin, anywhere down there, other than around the waist. It was breezy. It made me feel like I was going commando. It was disconcerting. Not really awful, but mildly unpleasant.

It wasn't a "crisis", but it was becoming a "thing". Due to a combination of this increasing urgency and some fortuitous prodding, my plan was accelerated last night. I threw away every t-shirt and every pair of underwear I owned this morning, except for the new stuff purchased last night. I haz clothes! Here are some numbers:

When I was at maximum density (I know that word doesn't mean that, I don't care, I like the phrase) I was wearing size 52 t-shirts. I was still wearing those yesterday. They were called "2X". Today, I wear a small, size 34 - 36. They fit very well, a little loose, but not bad at all. Pleasant.

When I was at maximum density I was wearing size 52 - 54 (also labelled "2X") underwear and they were too tight. They were the biggest size that I could buy in a brick & mortar store. I knew that I needed to replace them, but I couldn't bring myself to order "special fat person" underwear on the internet. I, instead, continued to go to the special department at certain stores and buy the "special fat person" underwear that actually weren't quite big enough. *sigh*

The underwear I own now are labelled "S". They are 28 - 30. They fit very well, better than the t-shirts. Comfortable, not tight, not loose. Perfect.

I wear "small" clothing. On the package for the t-shirts, it listed the size as "America & Europe 'S', Asia 'M'." I'm an Asian "medium".

Still can't quite get my head around that, but it makes me happy.
Comments 
11th-Nov-2012 12:05 am (UTC)
Anonymous
I told (parts) of that story to a friend today. It was the 'Asian Medium' that, surprisingly, remained the most humorous part for me.
This page was loaded Feb 27th 2017, 1:59 pm GMT.